Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Before, After, Now What?

Ok, I have been stressing about this post for days and days and days... But here it is. 

I finally got brave enough to post the first two pics on Facebook about a month ago. I was really happy with the support I received - who likes putting their before pics up?  Not me. But for me, the scariest part is talking about the "Now" picture. The one on the far right. 

First, the pic on the left is from 2007. My then-husband and I were in San Antonio, Texas celebrating our 10th anniversary. I had pretty much let myself go, wasn't working out at all and eating whatever. It was seeing myself in this picture, and ones like it, to try and lose weight and be healthy. I was winging it, that's for sure. I weighed over 174 in this pic. I think I quit weighing myself for a long while. I was a bit in denial. 

The middle picture- I am really proud of this one. It had almost been a year that I was working with Roger and I had been trying to get down to competition weight. At this point I weighed somewhere around the low 130's. This was taken in June, 2013 and I was around a size 6 

The last picture. Ugh. This is the one I'd really like to skim over and just wait until I look like my middle picture again. However, that's me. January 2014. I currently weigh 160 and run about a size 10/12. Yep. You read that right. I gained weight. I have tried to ignore it, I tried to pretend it didn't happen, I have been in a tailspin for about 4 months or so.  I have cried about it, been depressed about it, gotten mad about it, but realized I need to get back to basics and get to work. 

So what happened?? (I know, I ask myself that sometimes too. ). Did I quit going to the gym?  Nope. I continued to workout and lift weights. I wasn't hitting the cardio as rigorous as I should have, but I kept showing up. I think that alone, was my saving grace. If you compare the first and the last pic- that's a 15+ pound difference but my body looks completely different. I carry the weight differently, I have more muscle in the last two pictures. I have to be careful not to define myself by a number. 

Anyway, what happened. It's simple. I quit doing the things food wise that helped me reach that goal. I think I celebrated turning 40 for almost 6 months. It adds up over time. That one bite, that one off meal that turns into two off meals, which in turn ends up being the whole week. The thought of "I worked hard for this, I deserve it". "One bite won't hurt". If you truly only do it once in awhile, no, it will not affect you. I however, went back to some really old habits and it kicked my behind. Plain and simple. 

Here's what I learned in this process:

Weight gain happens. Accept it. Learn from it, fix it. 

My life revolves around food. I got a promotion? Let's go eat!  It's your birthday? Let's go eat!  Hockey game?  Let's go eat!  See the pattern?  We live in a society that revolves around food. Watch your TV.  Think about your own life. How important is food outside of just fueling your body to survive?

I always hear the phrase "It's a lifestyle change". It's not let's lose the weight and then go back to living the way you were before. I promise you, it will ALL come back. See? I just saved you a lot of heartache. However, you might be like me and have to learn the hard way.   There may be some of you reading this who do not suffer from the same emotional attachment to food like myself and others do.  It may be really hard for you to understand why it's such a struggle. My boyfriend is like that. He could care less about food. He likes food but it's not a big deal to him. I often times wish I could be like that. And I can, it just requires more mental discipline and changing things in my life. 

So, my next few posts will be talking about how to do just that. How to live in the real world and not give in to every single food temptation that's there. You can do it, we can do it. We just have to be willing to do the work. Thanks for listening and being so supportive!  

Just be awesome!


  1. Thanks for being so real Vanessa. Im getting discouraged, Ive been eating good and doing the treadmill and few other little things for 21 days now. I havent lost one pound! I was really hoping to see some loss by now. I hate exercising so this is really making me mad! Just need to keep going I suppose but not happy about it.

  2. looking great Vanessa, don't stop cause your progress is going to be better every year with consistency. keep up the amazing work